


Inked

by changedformeandthatsokay



Category: Panic! at the Disco, Ryden - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-15 01:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5766529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/changedformeandthatsokay/pseuds/changedformeandthatsokay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Panic! At The Disco. Ryden Fic.<br/>Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie In a world where everyone's soulmate appears written somewhere on their body at the age of 18, Brendon Urie finds out the name on his wrist just might be his new bandmate, Ryan Ross. Even if it is indeed him, will he accept him? Are soul mates supposed to happen this way? Ryan isn't so sure.<br/>published here, tumblr, and ff</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Inked
> 
> Rating: NC-17
> 
> Pairing: Ryden Fic. Brendon Urie/Ryan Ross.
> 
> Summary: In a world where everyone's soulmate appears written somewhere on their body at the age of 18, Brendon Urie finds out the name on his wrist just might be his new bandmate, Ryan Ross. Even if it is indeed him, will he accept him? Are soul mates supposed to happen this way? Ryan isn't so sure.  
> Author: changedformeandthatsokay (ff: rydeninkedfic)  
> Beta: afangirlontherun (she's the best)

Chapter 1

Inked

Brendon's arm itched. It felt like little bee stings and he instantly knew what was happening. He rolled over in bed; now aware he was sweating and turned the lamp on. The light lit up the room and he scratched at his arm. This was it. There was no going back. Years of waiting and wondering were finally coming to an end. He was about to find out who his soul mate was. This strange feeling woke him up from a dead sleep; a buzzing in his veins and warmth growing down his left arm. The warmth turned into an intense itch as the black ink seeped through the thin skin of his wrist. He rubbed harder and harder, trying to relieve the pain. Slowly, one letter at a time, the name "Ryan" appeared delicately on his left wrist. Oh.

This was it. This was the day Brendon would finally join a band. Well, he had to audition first, but word has it they haven't had any luck finding a singer yet and they were pretty desperate. Spencer approached him in Algebra a week ago telling him about the auditions for a band he and his friend were starting. It wasn't a big deal, just a new garage band sprouting up in Vegas, nothing new. Brendon was just flattered to even be considered. He rolled his shoulders and let out a deep breath. He fiddled with the leather cuff around the name on his wrist, a nervous habit he developed over the years. He knew it was silly, but it made him feel closer to his soul mate, even though he had no clue who they were. He pressed the doorbell and then worried if he had the right house. The door opened and Spencer stood on the other side.

"Man, I'm so glad you're here. We haven't seen anybody worth a shit all day," Spencer led him through the house and down a hallway.

"I hope I don't disappoint then," Brendon said.

Spencer opened the door in front of them and ushered Brendon into a garage. A drum set was set up next to a mic stand and a boy stood near the other mic stand with a guitar in his hands. Brendon's breath hitched. His heart started to beat faster; he shouldn't be so nervous. It wouldn't be the end of the world if they rejected him. He could just join another one of the many Vegas garage bands. He could even start his own.

"Hey, this is the newbie," Spencer said.

The boy looked at him disinterestedly and nodded his head, going back to his guitar. Brendon cautiously stepped up to the mic stand. Spencer sat down at the drum set.

"Okay, can you sing the piece I gave you?" Spencer said.

Brendon couldn't quite find his voice yet so he nodded and grabbed the mic. He closed his eyes and tried to find his center. Things felt right. This is what Brendon knew how to do better than anything. He took a deep breath as the music began to play, calming himself. Even though his heart continued to beat rapidly, he was ready when it was his turn to come in. He sang the lyrics to the right melody and threw his own spin to the song for good measure. When the song ended, he came back down to earth and he looked over at Spencer, whose face was in awe. Or it looked like it might be. Brendon glanced over to the other guy. He looked a little shaken up. He and Spencer had a silent conversation, exchanging pointed looks. Brendon tried to interpret them but it was no use, they clearly had their own language.

"Dude, I think you're in, man," Spencer stood up and stuck his hand out for Brendon to shake, "Welcome to the band!"

Brendon shook Spencer's hand and fist-pumped. He looked over at the other guy and reached out to shake his hand. He didn't need to but he kind of just wanted to touch him. He needed to interact with this boy who wouldn't talk to him and he needed to feel his skin on a strangely powerful subconscious level.

"I'm Ryan," the boy said, shaking Brendon's hand.

Brendon's heart stopped. He was now acutely aware of the name under his leather cuff and it might have just been in his head, but he swore it tingled a little. His mouth fell open and time slowed down. Time slowing down always seemed like a cheesy cliché, but he swears to god time actually crept slower. Ryan. The Ryan? There are other Ryans. Ryan should have been a girl's name. That's what his mother said. What does she know anyway? This is a much nicer surprise.

"I'm Brendon."

The way Ryan's eyes grew would have been comical except this moment was anything but funny. His response has to mean something, right? If the name written on his body were something other than Brendon he wouldn't have looked so terrified. At the risk of sounding redundant, this moment felt momentous. It also felt terrifying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...chapters will vary in length but they're coming!

Brendon showed up at Spencer's house again the next day for their first official band practice. He was running on pure adrenaline because for every hour he slept last night, the next hour he woke up and tossed and turned thinking about Ryan. Brendon rang the doorbell again, still nervous, but for a different reason today.

"Hey, man!" Spencer said, opening the door.

Brendon stepped through and Spencer shut the door behind him. He followed him back down the same hallway and out into the garage. Brendon felt his stomach flip. Ryan sat on the sofa near the wall, hunched over a notebook and tapping his fingers on his leg. Ryan's head snapped up when he heard them come in and Brendon smiled at him. He was a little disappointed when Ryan didn't smile back, but instead looked back down at the notebook.

"Ryan's in the middle of writing a new song, don't mind him," Spencer said, sitting down at his drum set, "He'll join the world of the living in a minute."

"Fuck you, I'm done. Well, done for now," Ryan said, setting the book aside.

"Oh cool! That's awesome man! Can I see?" said Brendon, stepping closer to the book.

"No!" Ryan snatched the book up and closed it before Brendon could see anything, "I mean, sorry, um, it's just not done yet." Ryan looked sheepish.

"That's fine! I totally get it," Brendon smiled at him.

Ryan flipped to a different page in the same notebook. "Okay here's what I thought we'd start with today, just to get a feel for how you do with the lyrics," Ryan said.

Brendon eagerly sat down next to Ryan and leaned closer to read the lyrics. He never really gave much thought to heart rate patterns but since Ryan happened he's been extremely self-aware. Brendon's heart fluttered and he tried very hard to focus on reading the words in front of him.

"I was thinking we should try and go for an up tempo kind of sound, maybe a little tambourine in the chorus," Ryan said, snapping Brendon out of his dazed state.

"Yeah, that sounds cool. Like this?" Brendon hummed the lyrics to the way he would sing them.

"Close! Maybe a bit more playful?"

Ryan sang the words written on the page and Brendon wondered why he was even there. Ryan's voice was amazing. Brendon tried to not stare at his face but he couldn't help it. The lyrics were really good, better than anything Brendon had written.

Ryan must have seen the look on Brendon's face because he jumped up and grabbed his guitar. He felt a little disappointed but followed him to the other mic stand.

"We're doing, I Constantly Thank God," Ryan said to Spencer who nodded and started counting off. He brought in the beat and Ryan played the chords.

Give us this day our daily dose of, faux affliction

Forgive our sins

Forged at the pulpit, with forked tongues selling false sermons

Cause I am, a new wave gospel sharp and you'll be thy witness

So gentlemen if you're gonna preach. For gods. Sake. Preach with conviction.

Brendon had to admit, they were really catchy lyrics. Ryan was uber talented.

"That sounded great!" Spencer stopped playing. "You're really good!"

"Nah, it's these lyrics, they're really great," Brendon said, looking at Ryan.

Ryan was quiet and it kind of scared him a little. He knew he could never do Ryan's stuff justice, but he'd try.

"I think I need to call it for today, Brendon, that was really good, I just…" Ryan rambled and set his guitar down. "I gotta go." Basically, he couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"Did I do something?" Brendon asked.

"No, I don't think so. Ryan is just…he does his own weird Ryan things," said Spencer.

Brendon's chest felt tight. You know that feeling you got when you were younger and you had to leave your best friend's house or someone broke your favorite toy? It was that sinking feeling of disappointment that Brendon felt.

"Hey, I'll text you about the next practice," said Spencer, standing up from the drums and showing Brendon out. "You know, after I talk to Mr. Crazy."

"Hah. Okay, see you later."

Unknown: Hey Brendon, it's Ryan. Spencer gave me your number, hope that's okay. Could you possibly make it to practice at like, 7?

Brendon's hands fumbled and couldn't move fast enough to save Ryan's number and form a reply.

Brendon: Hey! Yeah! I'll be there!

He paced around his room for a moment thinking about the text. Ryan had texted him. Not Spencer. Maybe Ryan doesn't dislike his singing after all. Either way, Brendon couldn't help but feel like squealing at the thought of Ryan reaching out to him this time. He stopped in front of his closet and surveyed it like a difficult test. What should he wear? His phone beeped and he jumped to reply even though the phone was still glued to his hand.

Ryan: great =)

Smiley face. He put a smiley face. Brendon grinned and looked down at his bare wrist and caressed the letters. He liked looking at the name; it was reassuring. The cuff was more of a customary thing, really. If your mark was somewhere visible, it was considered proper to keep it covered. Brendon grabbed a white button up shirt from the hanger and resisted the urge to go for the bow tie. Don't get fancy.

Brendon showed up to Spencer's house standing at the front door, yet again. He pressed the doorbell and anxiously stroked the leather on his wrist. Nervous habit. The door opened, only this time, instead of Spencer, Ryan stood on the other side, looking radiant. He wore ridiculously tight jeans and Brendon couldn't tell if his graphic tee was that tight or if Ryan was that small, but god it worked. He hadn't known him long, but in true Ryan Ross fashion, he wore a floral print scarf around his neck.

"Oh, hi," Brendon said.

"Hi, come on in," said Ryan, scratching his neck and stepping aside to let Brendon through.

Brendon stared at said neck, the bit of skin showing above his scarf and he tried really hard to suppress a shiver. He licked his lips and looked away as they traveled back down that same hallway and out into the garage again.

"I, uh, hope it's okay that it's just us," Ryan said, sitting down on the sofa. "Spencer had some last minute thing." Brendon sat down next to him and tried not to look too excited or too terrified.

"Oh no that's fine! Totally cool," Brendon said, sounding like a complete goober. Ryan smiled wide and looked away. He wished Ryan would stop turning away from him. Brendon wondered what happened between no-contact-run-out-of-the-room-Ryan and this bashful guy sitting next to him. He kind felt like he was walking on eggshells around him though, afraid that Ryan's walls would spring back up. Brendon wasn't going to let Ryan get away from him before he found out whose name was written on Ryan's skin. His beautiful, pale, and flawless skin. Okay, he should stop.

Ryan pulled out the notebook and they got to work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly but surely...  
> This isn't really all that edited because I don't have time to make it perfect, but you get the gist of the story. Thanks for putting up with it! Super short chapters hopefully will mean faster updates  
> Also the formatting keeps getting all weird on here. sorry

Fast forward in time a little….  
Brendon sat on the hood of the van and watched Spencer and Ryan bicker about the best way to start the fire. Jon stood awkwardly to the side, beer in hand, watching the whole process. Watching Spencer and Ryan argue really was just as good as any TV show. Unfortunately, Brendon drew the short straw and got dubbed designated driver for the evening. They planned this little “bonfire bonding experience” of driving out of town and into the desert as a last minute pre-tour ritual. Tomorrow they would head out to a bunch of different cities and share their album with the whole world. No pressure at all. But right now the only thing that mattered was the clear night sky and the cold clean air. And the way Ryan’s face looked over the flames once they finally got the fire going. Ryan’s pale skin against the warm glow of the fire was an interesting contrast that made Brendon’s belly swoop. “Okay, I think we’re finally ready,” Spencer said, wiping his hands on his pants. 

Brendon hopped off the van and made his way over to the fire. He sat next to Ryan. He didn’t mean to, he didn’t even think about it. He didn’t mean to be clingy, he just did it. Brendon glanced down at his worn in leather cuff and looked over at Ryan. Where was Ryan’s name? It could be anywhere on his body. Shoulder? Hips? Oh man, he can’t let his thoughts go there. “Hey you,” Brendon bumped shoulders with him.   
“Hey,” Ryan gave him a small smile back. Brendon looked down slightly at Ryan’s lips. They looked smooth and he wondered what it would feel like to run his tongue across them-what the slight pressure between their lips would feel like. He shivered and Ryan reached over and rubbed his arm. Brendon’s heart actually smiled and he let him keep rubbing even though that shiver had nothing to do with the temperature. 

His mind wandered back to the Problem. Problem with a capital “P” because this kind of was epically important. Ryan had to have a name on him right? Brendon had heard of people never getting a soul mate but it was rare, more of a myth if anything. Brendon’s arm felt itchy, like it always does when he’s around Ryan. To be honest, it probably didn’t mean anything, he was just hyperaware of those four little black letters on his wrist.   
Spencer passed around the bag of marshmallows and the sticks. “Will you toast mine?” Brendon grabbed one of each and held it out to Ryan.  
Ryan looked at the marshmallow and looked back at Brendon. “You can’t do your own?”  
Brendon could tell Ryan was trying not to smile. Brendon shook his head. “I always burn it.”  
Ryan grabbed the stick, brushing Brendon’s hand and his heart beat so fast he didn’t look up to see if Ryan felt it too. It wasn’t enough. He needed to touch more of him. Jon opened up another case of beer. “This is so not fair,” Brendon said, watching everyone take one but him.

“Hey, I’m toasting your marshmallows, loser, I deserve a beer,” Ryan said.  
“Okay, fine, Ryan is excused because I love him and he’s making himself useful.” Brendon couldn’t help it, not really. He hugged Ryan. Well, more like playfully attacked, but a hug nonetheless.

Spencer gave Brendon a look, possibly THE look. Spencer thinks Ryan might actually be the same Ryan that’s written on my wrist and he tells him that at least once a day. If there’s one thing Brendon is good at it’s denial, and if it’s not denial, it’s self-preservation. Getting his hopes up thinking about Ryan as anything more than a friend would be dangerous, though he’s starting to slip more and more each day. The thing is, all the soul mate stories are different. He had heard of the whole sparks flying, electricity, mind-numbingly beautiful moments that people package up and sell but then some people say those stories are just fairy tale exaggerations to keep the status quo.   
To be honest, Brendon couldn’t take his eyes off Ryan. Which really wasn’t all that different than any other day, but tonight felt different, felt charged. Like a buzzing energy coming out of his chest. Like a strong caffeine buzz but way worse.

Ryan sat back down next to him and handed Brendon the toasted marshmallow. He leaned over and ate it right from Ryan’s fingers. Brendon acted before he realized his mouth was on Ryan’s fingers, they locked eyes for a brief moment and Brendon could have sworn Ryan’s eyes glossed over, he knew his did. He couldn’t tell if things were awkward or if it was sexual tension.

Ryan, dare he say it, blushed, and picked up his beer can. Brendon tried to look away. He looked over at Jon, who was currently chugging his beer, and Spencer raising an eyebrow at him. “Really, Jon? That thing was full.”  
“You better slow down, I’m not carrying your ass to the van,” Brendon said.   
“Yeah, you’ll be too busy with Ryan’s,” Spencer chuckled.   
Ryan fumbled and dropped the stick he was holding. Brendon felt like hiding, but there was no escaping it, so he decided to embrace it instead. “Not my fault Ross is so irresistible.” Ryan snapped his head up and looked at Brendon. Brendon winks at him.


End file.
